A Yoga Project

One of my dreams is to actually practice all the things I’m truly interested in, and regularly. I’ve long enjoyed both the practice and the idea of yoga and in the last year, as my back pain has blossomed, yoga has been one of the things that has exhibited actually curative effects. When I’m regular at yoga,  my back feels better. It’s as simple as that. I move better, I notice less pain, and I feel stronger.

At the recommendation of a friend, I subscribed to the free YouTube channel Sarah Beth Yoga earlier this year. She’s skilled, low-key and down-to-earth, and I really like the variety of her videos. She has a paid membership, but I’m not committed enough to feel like that is justified. 

I love this text from my dear friend, Beth, whom I recently got to visit. I told her that I felt a bit bereft after my visit with her, so I was staying busy, working on the sourdough starter she gave me, editing the photos from her daughter’s wedding reception, etc.. Her response gave me a moment of pause and reminded me to “be wise.”

Isn’t it always that way?  Feeling the empty space after it was so full and overflowing?  Maybe that’s why some of us go overboard trying to fill the space.  

I hope to have some room to fill before long. But hopefully I’ll be wise:). 

It’s so good to have friends, resources, and options. I’m blessed and I don’t take it lightly. I do tend to go a little crazy with motivational challenges, projects and something-alongs, but they do motivate me and get me moving, even if I am not perfect at completing them. I’m also learning to let some of the opportunities go in the name of slowing down, focusing better, and finishing some of the things I’ve already started.

Today's yoga practice was a simple vinyasa flow practice. I felt my mind empty and focus. I felt my breath open up. I was able to achieve some consistent minutes of Ujjayi breath, and I felt energized afterwards, even though I hadn't slept well. This is pretty convincing evidence for me to keep at it and keep trying to make it a daily part of my routine.

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New Phase

A new phase means we ended the old phase with photos. I still don't love taking those photos, but this time, I did see some differences. Last month I wasn't at home when I took the photos (different background, different outfit, etc.) so it was harder to compare, but this month, the photo set up was the same, and my body is looking different.

I don't know if I will ever be able to rescue my poor tummy from the effects of 5 C-sections, so I may never lose my poochy belly, and I don't think I'd ever spring the 5 grand to get a tummy tuck, but hopefully losing the fat will make a difference. Of course I've lost the most inches from my poor, already-flat chest, but hey, whatcha gonna do...

Today's new habit is to Make Smart Carb Choices. I like that phrasing. Smart. I am a smart person, so that is in my possible trajectory.

There were two options in the lesson assignments: eat no refined sugar foods at all today, or replace all starches with greens or beans. I chose option 2. I feel that is within my reach and even to do it at a higher nutritional age, in other words, to strive for mastery.

So, instead of oatmeal this morning, I opted for this: 

Mixed baby greens and mushrooms were
sauteed in about a tsp of vegetable oil till soft. I turned down the heat,
added 1 egg  and scrambled it with the lot. Add a perfectly ripe pear
from this week's produce co-op and a cup of peppermint tea in a
Star Wars cup. 

I am still happiest with the small and subtle changes in my mind and heart that I'm seeing as a result of this program. I've moved forward in important ways that go beyond how I eat. Since the mind and body are connected, this makes perfect sense, of course. I am grateful for the lessons and nudging to change thought processes. 

And so, it's a new week. I've been losing about a half pound a week on average, and I feel like that is a great start. I have more than 26 lbs to lose though, so I would like to accelerate things a little so that by the end of the year I will have lost more like 35-40 lbs. It will help my knee so much to not have that weight on me. 

As for the new workout, it all looks good. I so appreciate the modifications page. Since I let my gym membership go to save some money, I am doing everything at home. I think I can manage everything this go-round except the deadlift, but there are several alternatives I can try. I am also committed to getting steps each day. No number in mind, just staying active. I feel so much better. 

It's been a rough allergy month. Shortness of breath, a sore throat and even swollen lymph nodes on my collarbone have made some workouts challenging lately, but I can do it. If I can't muster the complexity of the PN workout, I feel really good about doing 4 or 5 circuits of a 7 workout. It really challenges me. 

Today, I have a fair amount of work to get done. I will do my workout now, get showered and dressed and get about 2 hours of work done before I go help a friend. Then I will help another friend and be able to do several hours of work this evening. That schedule works for me. Even though I get up early, I move very slowly through the morning hours. I don't want to give in entirely to that tendency, but I also don't have to completely ignore it. I feel achy and stiff in the mornings and sometimes I have to be up for 3 or 4 hours before I can muster a workout. So, I don't feel guilty about that. 

Off I go!

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Doing It Anyway

Something I learned to say out loud from Melody Ross was "She did it anyway." What that means to me is: 

• It doesn't have to be perfect to be worth the effort. That is a pretty big deal for me. 
• "It" is anything from working out to being happy to eating well, to forgiving, to not getting caught up in emotional stuff that is not real. ETC.. (I have a lot of etcetera in my life.)
• Sometimes buckling down and just doing what you're told is the best thing of all. Trusting someone else's judgement and experience rather than trying to limp forward with all my past failures can actually be freeing. 

Today's bit for the Did it Anyway file is that I worked out. 

A real, challenging, exactly-what-was-on-the-schedule workout that made me sweat and my muscles tremble. I did it even though I didn't have a gym. I didn't have all the right equipment. I'm staying in my son's college married-student apartment that gives new meaning to the word cozy. But I did it anyway. I compromised and was creative. I also reaped the rewards of forethought, as I'm traveling and brought some good essential equipment with me. I actually made a decision to pack this stuff first, as a sort of declaration that I'm really going to make this lifestyle change I'm going for a top priority. I want changes in my body and mind. I'm pretty okay already, so this doesn't cancel out all that I am and have been and experienced. I'm looking for abundance. To add to. And this is one small way to do it. Pack fitness stuff first. More and more, I can feel that translating to actions like Read PN lesson first. Work out first. Strategize eating first. 

My tiny foam roller, yoga mat, jump rope, resistance band and
workout clothes, all in a packing cube. 

Of COURSE it's not happening all the time, but that's the point here. 

The more important moment in my mind is not the moment of lapse, but the day AFTER the moment of lapse. Will I start again or let the lapse (the not doing something formerly known as failure) get me? 

Doing it anyway means I have infinite do-overs. Eventually, 2 do-overs in a row becomes a streak of starting again, and after that, it becomes a habit. 

It felt good this morning to do the whole workout, wholeheartedly. To persist through the shaking legs and stop and correct my form, then complete the reps. 

I hope I'll remember that feeling tomorrow when the challenges arise. I hope you will, too. 

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It's All About Me

So, sorry about yesterday's post looking like a ransom note. I had copied and pasted some text from the PN website and forgot to change the formatting of that text. 

Today, I did my workout. The PN one. Start to finish. I was challenged. I was sweating. I didn't start it until 4:45 in the afternoon even though I put on my workout clothes at 8:30 am this morning. I was thinking about why I was doing it so late in the day, at such a random time. Then it happened. 

As I was counting down in the plank position, sucking up my abs and tightening my glutes, I had this gut-wrenching realization wash over me like a wave. I actually had tears. I realized that all morning and afternoon, I was waiting to do my workout until I felt like I was caught up. I am a terrible procrastinator. I put things off until they can't be put off anymore, then I do them and they always get done, mostly on time, and I do a good job of it. I feel so guilty about always running a little behind where I should be, I don't feel that the workout is justified. 

What???

A couple of days ago, our lesson was about doing the opposite of what we've done before, because clearly, that plan hasn't worked out, at least in terms of weight loss and the like. 

What if I did the opposite and did my workout first thing in the morning, then got to work on other stuff? 

I guess I need to find out. 

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