My Precision Nutrition Story

Today our assignment is to tell our Precision Nutrition Story. Part of my story is in all the numbers and graphs on the PN site, but most of it is in my head.

Today, I'm determined to be positive, in spite of the numbers. Here are the things I see, feel and believe are different after this time in the PN program:

• I look different. As of now, I think I have a permanent weight loss of about 12-15 lbs, but with my body, it's hard to tell. Hormones and other factors regularly cause my weight to fluctuate up to 10 lbs in a week. My clothes do fit differently, and I've gone down sizes in certain things. 
• I am stronger. I could never do a full pushup, and now I don't need to do knee pushups at all. I'm actually really happy about that. Still no pullups or anything close, but I can keep working. 
• I really do try to do something for my fitness every day, whether its yoga or a few rounds of a 7 workout, or something. I'm still intimidated and largely uncomfortable with weight work in a gym, but I can keep working on that as well. 
• I think about food differently. The basic habits of eating slowly and eating protein and veg at every meal have helped me tremendously. I still love sweets and haven't really given up on them, but I do eat smaller quantities. 
• I hope to take the journey further into the future. I do believe it's based on sound science, and I believe in the power of constant personal inventory and cognitive control. I want to become more consistent again as things end, so I can continue to make things into habits rather than projects. 

My numbers and stats are dismal. They might indicate failure, but instead, here I am, still working the program, even in small bites. I answer when my coach reaches out to me. I lurk on the forums and see what others are up to. I am still aware, and that matters to me. 

My PN journey has been the first steps, rather than a complete round trip. I'm a process person, and I do believe this has altered many of my basic processes in a positive way. I'm frustrated with myself a lot of days as I look at how far behind I let myself get with travel and family circumstances, but I can use the frustration as a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. 

Now I'm going to go make myself a breakfast scramble with chard, peppers, onions, carrots, and some eggs. 

Me on Saturday, at my son's wedding. 

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A New Attitude

Guacamole, quinoa chips, fancy cheese and crackers

Ready to make cinnamon rolls. Yum!

My experience this weekend was enlightening for me. Maybe it doesn't really square with PN principles, but it's a positive change for me so I thought I'd record it. Twice a year my church holds a worldwide conference that is broadcast in 5 sessions over the course of a weekend. It is always celebratory time in my life and includes comfort foods and treats that are traditional for our family. We spent time with friends and all weekend,  I ate what I wanted, and did not ask for any special accommodations or to have foods changed for me.

The good news is that I felt a new control and consciousness in choosing to have some of everything, knowing that it would not mean failure for my new habits. Eating so freely felt luxurious and fun instead of guilt-inducing. There was balance, and today I'm ready to get back to business. Taking a break didn't ruin me, it refreshed me.

I also felt strength and control because even though I decided not to worry about protein at every meal and 5 servings of vegetables, I did think a lot about eating slowly and eating to 80%. It was an absolutely wonderful time and it helped me see that the power of an abundance mentality rather than a scarcity attitude when it comes to food.

How was your weekend?

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New Phase

A new phase means we ended the old phase with photos. I still don't love taking those photos, but this time, I did see some differences. Last month I wasn't at home when I took the photos (different background, different outfit, etc.) so it was harder to compare, but this month, the photo set up was the same, and my body is looking different.

I don't know if I will ever be able to rescue my poor tummy from the effects of 5 C-sections, so I may never lose my poochy belly, and I don't think I'd ever spring the 5 grand to get a tummy tuck, but hopefully losing the fat will make a difference. Of course I've lost the most inches from my poor, already-flat chest, but hey, whatcha gonna do...

Today's new habit is to Make Smart Carb Choices. I like that phrasing. Smart. I am a smart person, so that is in my possible trajectory.

There were two options in the lesson assignments: eat no refined sugar foods at all today, or replace all starches with greens or beans. I chose option 2. I feel that is within my reach and even to do it at a higher nutritional age, in other words, to strive for mastery.

So, instead of oatmeal this morning, I opted for this: 

Mixed baby greens and mushrooms were
sauteed in about a tsp of vegetable oil till soft. I turned down the heat,
added 1 egg  and scrambled it with the lot. Add a perfectly ripe pear
from this week's produce co-op and a cup of peppermint tea in a
Star Wars cup. 

I am still happiest with the small and subtle changes in my mind and heart that I'm seeing as a result of this program. I've moved forward in important ways that go beyond how I eat. Since the mind and body are connected, this makes perfect sense, of course. I am grateful for the lessons and nudging to change thought processes. 

And so, it's a new week. I've been losing about a half pound a week on average, and I feel like that is a great start. I have more than 26 lbs to lose though, so I would like to accelerate things a little so that by the end of the year I will have lost more like 35-40 lbs. It will help my knee so much to not have that weight on me. 

As for the new workout, it all looks good. I so appreciate the modifications page. Since I let my gym membership go to save some money, I am doing everything at home. I think I can manage everything this go-round except the deadlift, but there are several alternatives I can try. I am also committed to getting steps each day. No number in mind, just staying active. I feel so much better. 

It's been a rough allergy month. Shortness of breath, a sore throat and even swollen lymph nodes on my collarbone have made some workouts challenging lately, but I can do it. If I can't muster the complexity of the PN workout, I feel really good about doing 4 or 5 circuits of a 7 workout. It really challenges me. 

Today, I have a fair amount of work to get done. I will do my workout now, get showered and dressed and get about 2 hours of work done before I go help a friend. Then I will help another friend and be able to do several hours of work this evening. That schedule works for me. Even though I get up early, I move very slowly through the morning hours. I don't want to give in entirely to that tendency, but I also don't have to completely ignore it. I feel achy and stiff in the mornings and sometimes I have to be up for 3 or 4 hours before I can muster a workout. So, I don't feel guilty about that. 

Off I go!

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Back Home and Settling In

The weather is changing to fall. I'm cozying up. I'm back home and feeling settled.

As for Precision Nutrition, I've lost about 5 lbs or so, which thrills me. I've lost some girth, and the jeans are feeling different. Not loose yet, but thinking about it. That's cool. I'm getting my period this week, so I'm feeling a little bloaty and not expecting a loss this week, but that's okay.

My mind is easier somehow. The first round of lessons were really about the mind, not so much the body. My mind is complicated, my body is pretty simple. Heal the mind, heal the body. It can be done. We read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown and it was really powerful for me. I'll review it on my other blog soon.

I already like veggies and smoothies and things like that. I already like exercise. I'm putting it together and that's good. I think the single biggest changes I've made are eating slowly and the eating to 80% full. That really matters to me. So, it follows that I'm eating fewer calories. Add that to doing more strength training, and my body will change. It's science.

Coach Pam asked me why I think I'm having success, and I think it boils down to the fact that this is a program for grown ups. It's not a club, it's not gimmicky or precious. It's facts and science and offers opportunities for me to succeed. I can take the opportunities or not. That mode of behavior change resonates with me. I'm in control.

I also like that it runs on the principle of positive behavior change rather than negative. When my kids were little, somewhere I read that instead of telling a kid "DON'T do that!" all the time, which leaves a blank space in their mind, tell them what to DO. It makes sense, and it worked for me as a mother.

In PN, instead of saying "Don't eat junk!" This program instead says "Do eat this. And this. and Do exercise. And be good to yourself. And be honest." It's filling the time and the belly and the mind with actions rather than only pointing out mistakes and missteps.

The bottom line is that I haven't given up chocolate. No one has told me I have to, so I haven't. I am doing all the things I have been told to do, and so I think I'm eating less chocolate. I know I am. I choose to eat the chocolate as a reward or because it's delicious, not because it's a nervous response to stress.

So, that's why it's working for me. Choosing positive ACTIONS instead of being left with blank spaces left by being told NO. It works for me and my stubborn mind. I can go at my own pace and because I choose to do so, I'm more likely to want to.

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Doing It Anyway

Something I learned to say out loud from Melody Ross was "She did it anyway." What that means to me is: 

• It doesn't have to be perfect to be worth the effort. That is a pretty big deal for me. 
• "It" is anything from working out to being happy to eating well, to forgiving, to not getting caught up in emotional stuff that is not real. ETC.. (I have a lot of etcetera in my life.)
• Sometimes buckling down and just doing what you're told is the best thing of all. Trusting someone else's judgement and experience rather than trying to limp forward with all my past failures can actually be freeing. 

Today's bit for the Did it Anyway file is that I worked out. 

A real, challenging, exactly-what-was-on-the-schedule workout that made me sweat and my muscles tremble. I did it even though I didn't have a gym. I didn't have all the right equipment. I'm staying in my son's college married-student apartment that gives new meaning to the word cozy. But I did it anyway. I compromised and was creative. I also reaped the rewards of forethought, as I'm traveling and brought some good essential equipment with me. I actually made a decision to pack this stuff first, as a sort of declaration that I'm really going to make this lifestyle change I'm going for a top priority. I want changes in my body and mind. I'm pretty okay already, so this doesn't cancel out all that I am and have been and experienced. I'm looking for abundance. To add to. And this is one small way to do it. Pack fitness stuff first. More and more, I can feel that translating to actions like Read PN lesson first. Work out first. Strategize eating first. 

My tiny foam roller, yoga mat, jump rope, resistance band and
workout clothes, all in a packing cube. 

Of COURSE it's not happening all the time, but that's the point here. 

The more important moment in my mind is not the moment of lapse, but the day AFTER the moment of lapse. Will I start again or let the lapse (the not doing something formerly known as failure) get me? 

Doing it anyway means I have infinite do-overs. Eventually, 2 do-overs in a row becomes a streak of starting again, and after that, it becomes a habit. 

It felt good this morning to do the whole workout, wholeheartedly. To persist through the shaking legs and stop and correct my form, then complete the reps. 

I hope I'll remember that feeling tomorrow when the challenges arise. I hope you will, too. 

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It's All About Me

So, sorry about yesterday's post looking like a ransom note. I had copied and pasted some text from the PN website and forgot to change the formatting of that text. 

Today, I did my workout. The PN one. Start to finish. I was challenged. I was sweating. I didn't start it until 4:45 in the afternoon even though I put on my workout clothes at 8:30 am this morning. I was thinking about why I was doing it so late in the day, at such a random time. Then it happened. 

As I was counting down in the plank position, sucking up my abs and tightening my glutes, I had this gut-wrenching realization wash over me like a wave. I actually had tears. I realized that all morning and afternoon, I was waiting to do my workout until I felt like I was caught up. I am a terrible procrastinator. I put things off until they can't be put off anymore, then I do them and they always get done, mostly on time, and I do a good job of it. I feel so guilty about always running a little behind where I should be, I don't feel that the workout is justified. 

What???

A couple of days ago, our lesson was about doing the opposite of what we've done before, because clearly, that plan hasn't worked out, at least in terms of weight loss and the like. 

What if I did the opposite and did my workout first thing in the morning, then got to work on other stuff? 

I guess I need to find out. 

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